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This paragraph is not coherent and transitional. Coherencemay not be perfect even if the writer arranges his sentences in a clear order. Hehas to use good transitions so that one sentence runs smoothly to another. Althoughthe writer had expressed the education system, the essay lacks of logical orderand clear strain of thought. It is hard for us to understand the education systemin China. copyright paper51.com 2.3.Having many mistakes and errors 内容来自www.paper51.com
Thethird problem with students’ English writing is that: there are many mistakesand errors in sentences and most of the sentences are in simple. 内容来自论文无忧网 www.paper51.com Luo Zhongyu’swriting: 内容来自论文无忧网 www.paper51.com In China, education systems give peopletwo diffient chane: thefirst, you need three part. thesecond, you need four part. When you chose the firstone, you only need three part: primary school, middleschool, professional school. Then you can work after that. If you chose the secondone, you need four part: primary school, middleschool, professional school, college. 内容来自论文无忧网 www.paper51.com In this paragraph, the first mistake is spelling. Suchas “diffient chane”, itshould be “different chances”. And in the first paragraph, we should correctthe word “the” in the second sentence into “The”, because the author used theperiod before the second sentence. The second mistake is grammar. In this shortparagraph, the author did not use plural form of the noun. We should correct “threepart” and “four part” into plural form: parts. 内容来自www.paper51.com 2.4. Beingunreasonable in essay structure http://www.paper51.com Fourthly,the problem of students’ English writing is that: the structures of essays areunreasonable. Essay writing builds on many of the skills you have alreadymastered in learning to write a paragraph. Like a paragraph, an essay makes andsupports one main point, and “an essay has three main parts: an introduction, abody, and a conclusion. Each part has its own special purpose. Briefly, theintroduction provides some background information on the subject and states themain point in a thesis statement. The body consists of several supportingparagraphs that develop the main idea. The essay ends with a conclusion thatsummarizes the main points.”(Mary’s handouts, 2005:39) however, most studentsdo not finish an essay in a good way. copyright paper51.com A. Lu Jiacai’s writing. http://www.paper51.com
The education system in Chinausually have three parts. First, it is primary school. most chichen 7 years start go to primary school. 6 years finish.Then no exams arise to middle school. The middle school havethree parts, that junior, senior and professional middle school. Junior andprimary school call compulsory education. But from middle school junior 3 yearsto middle school senior or professional must get to exams. In junior middle school is mostimportant. Because, they want to go on college, that most study hardly. Sotheir can go to the college. then can have work. Thisshort composition is not developed well in the structure. Certainly, we can seethat there are three paragraphs in the writing. However if we read itcarefully, we can find that it just includes the “introduction” and “bodyparagraph”, but not “conclusion”. Most students do not make a good developmentin structure of essay when they write. Another composition from Zhen Xiuying also makes the same mistake: lacking of the “conclusion”.Her writing just has two paragraphs. Now let us see her writing. copyright paper51.com paper51.compaper51.com
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